


my jolly sailor bold

by ImJustPassingThrough



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Beaches, Buzzfeed Violet, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Human Shane Madej, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Ryan Bergara, Pining Shane Madej, Protective Ryan Bergara, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Singing Ryan Bergara, Siren Ryan Bergara, Song: Hoist The Colours, Song: My Jolly Sailor Bold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27601147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustPassingThrough/pseuds/ImJustPassingThrough
Summary: My name it is Ryan, a merchant's young son fair,And I have left my parents and three thousand dollars a year,My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold,There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold.Or;Ryan is a siren, and Shane is entranced.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	my jolly sailor bold

**Author's Note:**

> Title, and summary is from the song, 'My Jolly Sailor Bold', but I don't know who it's by, as it's the original not Hans Zimmer, so, please do tell me if you know.

Shane doesn't believe in Mermaid's and Sirens. They were fairy tales told to children, and used by Disney, Pixar and Dream Works... Does Pixar have mermaid and siren movies? Oh, who cares, Shane doesn't believe in them. And he couldn't lie, he felt embarrassed that his co-host, best friend and crush, Ryan Bergara believed in them. Witchcraft? Of course not! But, mermaids and sirens? Sure! They take one step forward, then two steps back, it's like a repetitive cycle... Why does he like Ryan again?"

I mean the guy keeps him up at night with scared yelps at night, and sleepy murmuring at night. He goes on and on about ghosts and murders, and he's a complete and utter frat boy, and he was a work out nut, and would mumble when he was deep in editing, and would work until the late hours of the night. And, he would have a horrified look on his ace with these wide, brwon, doe like eyes, and a chiselled jawline and beautiful tanned muscles, and brown silky hair... Shane couldn't lie, he was enchanted.

Funnily enough, he knew he liked Ryan the moment he began working at Buzzfeed. He never said anything, and at the beginning he could ignore his quickening heart beat, and ignore how sweaty his palms got, and he could admire Ryan from the sidelines. But then the situation escalated, pretty fast.

The two would walk through a door at the same time, bump into each other and utter a quiet 'oh sorry'. Then there was the time the two ran past each other on the stairs, at first Shane was going down, and Ryan was going up, and they greeted each other. Then it happened again, and again, and again... Then there was that one time Ryan was sat on an outside table, and Shane was psyching himself up to talk to him, but Sara intervened and threw a ball at Ryan's back, then hid, so when Ryan turned around confused, Shane was stood there like an idiot.

There was also this one really horrid time in the lunch room and Ryan was making himself a coffee, and Shane walked in, and the two stared at each other.

"I swear, I'm not stalking." Shane assured, trying to joke the situation off, and save his gay ass.

Ryan smiled awkwardly, "I didn't think you were. But, now I do!"

Shane walked off, his stomach churning, and he wanted a hole to form and swallow him up. He kind of wished witchcraft was a thing so that way he could magic that situation away, and so he never had to relive that moment ever again... Why did this have to happen? He hates having mushy feelings! Maybe he could just pretend they don't exist? Fake it till he makes it! Or just pretend, just lie to himself, that's good too... But, he's tried that...

There was that one time that they were making coffee, and Shane poured the milk into his drink, and then walked off with his drink, and the milk, and Ryan reached out to grasp it but grasped air. He looked up to see Shane walking away, and watched in awkward confusion. Then there was the time he saw Ryan walking in, and he quickly shoved a lamp shade on his head, which now that he thinks about it, wasn't the smartest idea he had.

And then there... Was that time outside, and... Ryan slowly took off his sunglasses, ran a hand through his gorgeous hair... The sun light hitting his face gently, and there was... This really cute dog, that he lifted up and then cuddled it... Shane remembers snapping out of his daze when he snapped his pencil in two and saw Ryan was simply texting someone.

It was hopeless, nothing was working. Shane might have, temporarily believed that Ryan had some supernatural power, but then quickly got rid of that thought because that was false and there was no such thing as the supernatural. Right? What was he he going to do?

"Have you tried saying something to him?" Sara asked one day.

Shane gave her look, "I tried that!"

He remembers going up to Ryan one day and asking, "hey have you seen that new Netflix documentary called 'The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party'?"  
  


Ryan had smiled and shook his head, "nope!"

"No, I mean something normal." Sara corrected, "like a compliment?"

Shane had fallen silent and hummed, "very interesting. Very interesting indeed."

He tested that theory when he and Ryan were on their laptops, sat opposite each other doing their work. Shane's eyes scanned over Ryan and his eyes landed on his copper coloured shoes, okay... It was now or never, "hey, your shoes kinda look like two little pennies..." Shane had wanted to face palm at that. Whatever weird friendship he had with Ryan was gone after that.

Ryan looked to his shoes, "oh yeah, I always thought that!" He smiled, that charming smile, showing off his perfect teeth. He looked to Shane's shoes, "yours kinda look like footballs."

"I don't really like these shoes..." Shane chuckled and blushed, rolling his ankles, "they're kinda dumb." Shane was mortified, why can't he stop talking?

"What?! They're great! They're football shoes!" Ryan smiled.

"Oh, thanks..." Shane laughed, nervously.

The two had fallen back into comfortable silence, going back to work, and smiling over their lap tops to each other.

Ryan always said he asked Shane to co-host Unsolved after Brent, all thanks to the penny shoe comment. So, his awkward flirting worked, even if it meant they were just friends, no matter how many times Sara told him they were pining after each other.

But, enough about his crush, onto Sirens and Mermaids.

This was an episode for Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, and they were at the Scylla Beach. It was a large beach, the sands black and smooth, and the ocean is, clear and a gorgeous blue, the waves were smooth, and there was a large cliff with a sharp rocks, but it wasn't scary... Well, nothing here screamed 'supernatural', it was more of a romantic get away, or a nice vacation, not scary. Yet Ryan was tense.

They set up their chairs in front of the sharp jagged rocks, and the camera crew set up.

Ryan stared at the water, and Shane stared at him, checking him out. He was in black shorts, and was barefoot, and had a tank top on. He was gorgeous, but how was he not cold? If anything, Ryan was looking at the ocean in longing and need. But, at the same time, he was tense, and while he was looking at the water in longing, he was also looking worried, and nervous, and was sticking close to Shane, more so then normal.

"You okay?" Shane asked quietly, and looking to Ryan in worry.

Ryan looked up and smiled uneasy, "I'm fine, why? Are you not okay?"

"I'm fine... You just seem worried, more than usual." Shane said, worried.

Ryan smiled, "it's you I'm worried worried... And, I'm not exactly stoked about Sirens luring yo- uh, us, into the murky depths of the ocean..."

"Oh, it'll be fine. There's no such thing as mermaids, or sirens..." Shane smiled, and Ryan sighed. Shane nudged him, "hey, we're better looking the any mermaid ever..."

Ryan scowled, and looked to Shane, "well, I would hope so."

"I mean, like... Sirens are evil, right?" Shane asked, smiling.

Ryan blinked, "well, yeah... Some are..."

"See? So, you are nice like a mermaid, but beautiful like a siren-" Shane rambled, and looked to Ryan with a smile, but suddenly stopped seeing Ryan blushing yet scowling.

"Don't compare me to a mermaid, but thank you for saying I'm beautiful." Ryan was holding no joking tone to his voice, "and, if we're comparing ourselves to sirens, you're just as enticing as a siren... No, you're more. I'd happily crash my ship for you..." Ryan grinned, walking to their chairs.

Shane flushed a bright red, he had no idea what relationship he and Ryan had, but he wished it could grow instead of stay the same. He rushed over to join Ryan and sat down, and recording started.

"This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we answer the ongoing question; Do mermaids and sirens exist?" Ryan started, and Shane, as always, shook his head 'no'. "No, don't fucking shake your head at this, yes they exist..."

"You don't believe in witches, but you do believe in mermaids and sirens." Shane said, and crossed his arms, a smug smirk on his face.

Ryan rolled his eyes, and continued on with the video, but this time Shane stayed silent. Something told him to be quiet, Ryan seemed tense and nervous, worried even and also... He seemed to be personally offended at a few things when talking about the stereotypes of these creatures.

"So, mermaids sang and made the sailors crash the ships?" Shane asked for clarification.

Ryan looked to Shane, a look of shock on his face, he was offended, this time properly, "no! Not mermaids! Sirens sang and crashed sailors ships!"

"What's the difference?" Shane asked.

"Did you not listen to what I just said?" Ryan asked with an annoyed sigh, gaining a nervous head shake from Shane, and to be fair, Shane did look apologetic, "okay, alright... Mermaids are hideous despite contrary belief, they have sharp teeth, and weird hair, like seaweed, and leathery skin, that's slimy and gross, their voices are sharp, and screechy above water, and underwater, they sound pretty," Ryan grimaced at that.

"So, mermaids are ugly..." Shane clarified, "so, Disney got The Little Mermaid all wrong?" Shane asked with a smile.

Ryan gave a bitter laugh, "yeah! Sirens are gorgeous beings, they have to be so that they can entice men and woman into the sea to drown and kill them, and they eat them. They have enchanting voices when they sing, and their scales are shiny and pretty, and... They're designed to entice people to eat them."

Shane grinned, "maybe we get enticed by a siren!"

Ryan didn't laugh, he was not going to entertain this bit, "don't joke about this."

Shane frowned, "okay, sorry..."

Ryan continued on with the video, and continued explaining, and even went into a few ghosts. Sailors who drowned and supposedly 'eaten', now wonder the beaches in woe and sorrow, in pain and agony. And Ryan was tense the whole time.

The two went onto their investigation, with cameras and the spirit box, and walked through the sand in silence, the sun was set, and Shane couldn't deny, it felt tense and quiet spooky.

"Has a different feeling at night, huh?" Shane grinned, looking out at the ocean, that was now crashing against the cliffs, and beach.

Ryan followed Shane's gaze, and gripped his hand as if to keep a hold on him, "yep, a very ghostly, terrifying feel..."

Shane squeezed Ryan's hand, "it'll be okay..." He wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulder, "there's no such thing as sea murdering creatures! And, ghosts don't exist."

"Maybe we shouldn't do solo investigations this time?" Ryan asked, nervously.

Shane frowned, "you don't have to do a solo investigation, but I kinda wanna see if a siren will waste their voice for me." He joked.

"If they didn't, I'd be shocked..." Ryan winked.

Shane blushed, and rubbed his neck, "are you flirting with me?"

"Take it how you want." Ryan winked, and walked off, bring out the spirit box.

Shane didn't even complain like he usually would about that infernal contraption, he was too busy trying to keep his blood from rushing to his face, and was failing, miserably, he barely registered the box or Ryan saying, "are there any spirits here today, any that were killed by sirens?"

Shane looked around and he swore he heard a faint tune, one that stopped after a second, and Shane blinked, and Ryan didn't comment on it, so it was probably a car near by, or maybe something from that stupid spirit box, "who ate you?!" Shane yelled with a smile, and Ryan laughed.

"skhyrigtniat...hihge...RYAN...shhhisngs...ahdnahd-"

Shane laughed, "for once I heard your name! And now I know this is horseshit!"

Ryan laughed, weakly, and a small smile on his face, "yeah... Uh, who was that?"

"hshann...hhsnbnahkkakakssaaaii...TIMOTHY...hhsuuuaikkans...jdjakkan-"

Shane grinned, and Ryan paled, and looked to the taller of the two, "did you hear that?!"

Shane laughed, "come on Ryan, ghosts aren't real!"  
  


"hajjajdbbd...RYAN ATE TIMOTHY...hhakkkanhdsj-"

Ryan went paler, "uh... That was a clear sentence..." His voice was small, and weak, "and I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Shane frowned, seeing exactly how affected his friend was, "you need a break?"

"I'll be back in a few minutes... Do not move, no matter what. I mean it." Ryan warned, and went off to get rid off his last meal.

Shane didn't follow, he knew Ryan, he was close though, on hand if Ryan needed him, but ultimately let Ryan have a breather. Didn't mean he wasn't worried, all because his name was supposedly said? That was just silly, but then again, this is Ryan. The poor guy gets scared and sick over his shadow.

He heard a tune from afar, whimsical and airy, and it was beautiful. He turned to the direction of the music... It was as if it was being carried by the wind, and it was... enticing...

_"The king and his men stole the queen from her bed... And bound her in her bones... The seas be ours, and by the powers... Where we will, we'll roam..."_

Shane's eyes glazed over, and slowly turned over to the voice, and slowly moved to the voice. It was deep, enchanting, and it was as if a whisper through the night, it was beautiful, and Shane was entranced.

_"Yo, ho, all together.... Hoist the colours high... Heave ho, thieves and beggars... Never shall we die..."_

Shane followed the voice, it was coming from the ocean, and the water... It was lovely, and the voice was deep, and Shane felt like he was in love... He needed to see this singer....

_"Some men have died and some are alive... And others sail on the sea... With the keys to the cage... And the Devil to pay we lay to Fiddler's Green..."_

Shane's found himself in the water, and his ankles shoes filled with water, jeans became soaked. He was freezing, but the voice... That heavenly voice... That voice is amazing...

_"The bell has been raised from it's watery grave... Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?... We are a call to all, pay head the squall... And turn your sail toward home!"_

The water was now up to Shane's waist, his pupils were blown wide, and his mouth was slightly open, his clothes were heavy, hanging onto his skin, and goosebumps all over his skin, but he wouldn't stop until he found were that voice led to.

_"Yo, ho, all together... Hoist the colours high... Heave ho, thieves and beggars... Never shall we die..."_

Shane found the voice, it was a man, on top of the jagged rocks, and the waves were harsher now. The man had curled blond hair, and white, clear skin, with wide, blue eyes... He was pretty, but it wasn't Ryan...

The man turned and smiled at Shane was was now neck deep in the water. The man leaned down, and caressed Shane's face, "are you my jolly sailor bold?" His voice was smooth, like caramel.

"Your jolly sailor bold?" Shane asked, a confused smile on his face.

The man slid off the rock, and pulled Shane close, "my heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold." He pulled Shane's face closer, and began sinking down, pulling Shane with him, Shane's eyes were glazed over still, until something, or someone pulled him back.

Shane's eyes cleared, and looked to the hands that held him, and his eyes widened, "Ryan?"

Ryan was shirtless, and it was like his features and looks was enhanced, "Shane, are you okay?"

"I'm fine... Ryan, what are-"

The blonde man popped up, his teeth sharp, and eyes narrowed, "Ryan, I haven't seen you in years..."

"Yeah, and I'm not coming back... Just stay away from Shane..." Ryan hissed, teeth now sharp as well, and moved closer to the man, who backed up suddenly, "leave." The man listened, and left, ducking under the water, and Ryan pushed Shane up onto a rock.

"Ryan, what the hell was that? What was he?!" Shane asked, horrified, and clearly panicked.

Ryan, still shirtless, pushed himself up onto the rock, and rested his chin on his arms, "I told you on land, this place is riddled with Sirens."

"No... No... Sirens don't exist." Shane denied, swallowing harshly.

Ryan looked at Shane nervously, "we do exist..."

" _We?!_ " Shane asked in shock and horror, and shook his head, "no, no, no... You're human, you're not a siren..."

Ryan looked down, and then up again _"upon one summer's morning, I carelessly did stray, down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay. Conversing with a bouncing lad, who seem'd to be in pain. Saying, Shane Madej, when you go, I fear you will ne'er return again."_ Ryan sang, his voice soft and gentle, whimsical.

Shane looked over to Ryan, muscles loose and eyes glazed over.

_"His hair it does in ringlets hang,"_ Ryan curled a strand of Shane's hair, _"his eyes have quiet a glow."_ Ryan caressed Shane's cheek. _"_ _My happiness attend him wherever he may go... From Tower Hill, down to Blackwall, I will wander, weep and moan... All for my jolly sailor bold, until he does return."_ Shane covered Ryan's hand with his own.

_"My father is a merchant—the truth I now will tell, and in great London City in opulence doth dwell. His fortune doth exceed 300,000 in gold. And he frowns upon his young son, 'cause he loves a sailor bold."_ Ryan sang, and Shane leaned down, but Ryan stopped him.

_"A fig for his riches, his merchandize, and gold,"_ Ryan cupped Shane's face, _"true love is grafted in my heart; give me my sailor bold: Should he return in poverty, from o'er the ocean far, to my tender pectus, I'll fondly press my jolly tar."_ Ryan rubbed his thumb against Shane's lower lip, and Shane leaned in again, and Ryan almost pulled him closer, but stopped himself.

_"My sailor is as smiling,"_ Shane smiled, as Ryan gently touched his lips, _"as the pleasant month of May. And oft we have wandered through Ratcliffe Highway, where many a pretty blooming men we happy did behold, reclining on the pectus of his jolly sailor bold."_

_"Come all you pretty fair men, whoever you may be, who love a jolly sailor bold that ploughs the raging sea,"_ Ryan smiled, and Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist, his skin gently brushing against Ryan's black and white scales, _"_ _while up aloft, in storm or gale, from me his absence mourn, and firmly pray, arrive the day, he home will safe return."_

_"My name it is Ryan, a merchant's young son fair, and I have left my parents and three thousand dollars a year,"_ Ryan sang, and his hand landed over Shane's chest. _"My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold, there is nothing can console me but my jolly sailor bold."_

Shane's eyes cleared after a few seconds, and he swallowed, "you're a siren, I did always think you was enticing..."

"I'll ask you Shane; Are you my jolly sailor bold?" Ryan asked, softly.

"I'm your jolly sailor bold." Shane answered, and pulled Ryan up, kissing him, and Ryan kissed back, hands on Shane's cheeks, and his arms slowly wrapped around his neck. Shane pulled back, "my boyfriend is a Siren... "

"You disappointed?" Ryan asked, frowning, worried.

Shane grinned, "no, so long as you don't eat me... Like you did with that Timothy guy."

Ryan scowled, "it was my first, and last time... It was not pleasant, and I'm ashamed of it..."

Shane kissed Ryan again, "hey, it was ages ago, and you clearly regret it... Now, please get me to the shore. And let me take you on a date..."

Ryan smiled and cuddled his head into his neck, "whatever my jolly sailor bold wants."

And Shane couldn't lie, he loved that title, Ryan's jolly sailor bold...

**Author's Note:**

> I used dialogue from the Buzzfeed Violet video, 'Should I Talk To My Crush?'
> 
> I used lyrics from from the song 'Hoist The Colours' but this version is the Hans Zimmer version.


End file.
